Anyone else taking on new projects around the house recently? Since we’re at home so much these days, I’ve been staring down this humdrum bookshelf. This dang thing has made me unhappy since the day I painted it yellow—it wasn’t right, it wasn’t enough, it wasn’t ‘me.’ Finally, I said ENOUGH and decided to change it up last week with a fresh coat of magenta paint. Boy did that send me down a rabbit hole of thoughts (you know me, lol).
Now I’m no painting pro, but I do love being able to change things up around the house with a new paint color. And when I’m painting, I’m in the zone. It’s almost like meditation. So as I’m painting a wild design on the back wall of this bookshelf, my thoughts started running through what I’ve learned and how I’m supported by the people in my life.
My husband, bless him, does his very best to keep his perfectionist mouth closed and focus on other things. Just to ease him, I did tape off the edges and even penciled out my design in advance. Then I thought of my father-in-law and how he’d be standing there about to have a coronary, watching my every move, wanting to tell me a better way to do it. He’d be eagerly waiting to touch up everything I missed and just dying to get his hands on my paintbrush to make sure it was washed appropriately.
My dad would just be shaking his head saying, “It’s your house.” My uncle would also be unsure of my design choices but happy that 1. I was using a good paintbrush and 2. that the design made me HAPPY. He’d take me to Lowes if I needed more supplies and would admire my work when I was done.
As I kept painting I chuckled, thinking about all the different methods of support and assistance the people in my life would offer. Mostly, I smiled at the fact that even with all of those different opinions and personalities, NO ONE would object, no one would argue, and while this brightly patterned magenta bookshelf is in nobody’s taste but my own, they would each support me and my choices in their way.
Now back to reality—my daughters are directly under my feet coloring as I paint. I said out loud, “Man, don’t you hate it when you make a tiny mistake, and when you try to fix it, it just gets bigger and bigger?” And my 10-year-old Iley goes, “Yeah, but that’s usually my favorite part. You just have to keep going and going. Sometimes you even stop and go, ‘Gosh, I ruined it,’ but you just keep going. In the end, it always looks great.” I stood there in awe like, “whoa kid, did you just call it or what?” After thinking about support and ‘teaching moments’ and one happens just like that!
How many times in life have you felt you’ve really made a mess of something? How many times has ‘one little thing’ turned into a big mess of a thing that you thought you would never survive, fix, get over or come out on the other side?? And then in the end—hours, days, years, decades later, you look back and marvel at every little step that got you to the end. We never understand why we are struggling or what it’s all for. BUT it’s all a part of the big picture—if we just KEEP GOING we can look back and see how all those little mistakes could quite possibly turn into the best part.
Funny how a little home improvement turned into some SELF improvement! This bookshelf doesn’t exactly ‘make sense.’ I don’t have magenta anywhere else in my house. It doesn’t ‘go’ with any mood board or ‘color story’ but it makes me happy. So today I’m here to remind you that there are no rules. Do what makes you happy. Do what makes you feel good. Do what makes you feel something. It’s your life, your home, your body. Do you and don’t worry about anyone else.
I feel so blessed to feel supported by so many people who remind me of just that. And if you don’t have a support system in your life, join our Facebook community. We’re all about supporting our fellow sisters as you DO YOU! Stay safe and be kind.
xo,
Katie
The Pearl Pages 