Intolerance For Hate From a Reformed Mean Girl.

Katie Dunlavy, Lularoe boutique owner, of The Pearl Pages sitting on a stool smiling wearing jeans and a white top with a light pink blazer.

Can you root for your team without rooting against the other? The answer is YES.

Hate is like a bad habit, you can choose to quit.

When I was younger, I was a mean girl. I wish I had a good reason, if there even is such a thing as a good reason, to be mean. I don’t know if I was insecure, oblivious, shallow, or maybe all of the above. I made fun of people for anything and everything. I was selfish and never considered the other person’s perspective. Looking back, it was an awful way to live. And to be honest, I’m embarrassed.

Now I’m not telling you this to self-shame or ask for forgiveness, although I’ve done my fair share of seeking forgiveness. I’m telling you this so maybe you’ll believe people can change. I’m also telling you this in case you find yourself being a mean girl. You can change, too.

How did I become a better version of myself? A me I can be proud of? A me that is so much more productive? Well first, it started with my husband, He’s saint-like. He finds zero humor in making fun of other people. He won’t even let me make fun of myself. So becoming conscious of the words I say eventually lead to me becoming conscious of my thoughts. You wouldn’t believe how much brain space you open up once you release all energy associated with hate and negativity!

Being aware of my words and my thoughts lead to me becoming super aware of others’ words. So much of what people say stems from a place of negativity. And negativity spreads like the dang plague!

To ensure my children don’t follow in my same footsteps, I’m incredibly conscious of not only the things we say in our house but the things they are exposed to. It doesn’t matter where we are: if the conversation turns to a topic of hate, we leave. We have a no-hate tolerance in this house. 

We don’t hate politicians, we don’t hate sports teams, we don’t hate religions, we don’t hate people, we don’t hate ideas, we don’t hate, PERIOD. I’m all about everyone having their own opinions and points of view. I LOVE hearing about those different perspectives! What I don’t love is when someone cannot express their views or feelings without adding in hate. If you want to sit and talk to me about how much you love Melania Trump, I’ll listen to you all day. But if you can’t express those views without hating on Michelle Obama, I’m not listening.

Be conscious of who you’re around. Be conscious of what you listen to. Listen to your own words and your thoughts. Decide the kind of person you want to be and make the changes to become that person. I was a hater for like, 25 years. Then I thought about the people in my life that made me feel good and the people that made me feel poorly. Reality check! I decided I was going to be one of those people that always lifts others up. Makes them feel positive, loved and heard. If I can do it, so can you! You CAN change and become who you really want to be.

“I decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear.”

-Martin Luther King Jr.

Over on our Facebook community (have you joined yet?! It’s really fun over there!), we hosted a “Kindeness Challenge.” It made my heart so full to hear about everyone’s acts of kindness for others. No matter how small it seems to us, those little acts of love can make a huge difference for someone else!

Let’s keep it going. Leave me a comment with an act of kindness you did or a story of how someone else did the same for you.



6 thoughts on “Intolerance For Hate From a Reformed Mean Girl.

  1. This is why we connect so well, my bestie! I have always been hardcore pro-LOVE. I find it insanely beautiful to hear where people come from & how their experiences have shaped their thoughts. Its fascinating! Listening to & embracing orhers is how we grow best! There is so much to learn from people, and we are constantly learning. In fact we shohld never STOP learning! Stay open! One of my favorite quotes of all time is, “Minds are like parachutes, they only function when they are open”. This leaves no room for hate, just love and acceptance. Love you. Great post!


  2. It’s funny how life works. I knew that mean girl, and she’d tell you that she didn’t like me then. But now, we’re really close!


  3. I knew the mean girl, but I also saw glimpses of the kind soul inside. I love seeing your growth and the love and kindness that you spread.


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